| Living Room (points: 2/10) |
You are standing in the living room of the big white house. Or perhaps it is the family room. You really aren't sure what exactly the social norms are that dictate one term over and above the other, but there's a television and a couch here, so it's that room. The one with the tv.
On the floor is a surprisingly tasteful throw rug, folded up to reveal a trap door.
> EXAMINE COUCH
You can't believe they make couches that ugly. What color is that anyway? It's like brown mauve mixed with periwinkle orange. There is a buttocks shaped imprint of a very large buttocks that presumably spent a considerable amount of time there. Next to the couch is a small end table.
> EXAMINE END TABLE
It is a surprisingly generic and unoffensive end table. On it is a small wooden figure and a lamp. The end table's drawer is closed.
> OPEN DRAWER
The drawer is regretfully locked. Apparently, the previous occupant of this house liked to keep important, secret things in the living room to taunt his guests.
> EXAMINE WOODEN FIGURE
It is a bulbous thing, painted to look like a poor Russian farm girl. A crease down the center indicates that it can be opened.
> OPEN WOODEN FIGURE
Popping open the figure reveals a second, smaller figure. It also is painted to look like a poor Russian farm girl and features a crease indicating that it can be opened.
> OPEN SMALLER FIGURE
Popping open the figure reveals a second, much smaller figure. It also is painted to look like a poor Russian farm girl, this one with blue hair, and features a crease indicating that it can be opened.
> OPEN MUCH SMALLER FIGURE
Popping open the figure reveals a second, even smaller figure. It also is painted to look like a poor Russian farm girl, this one with plaid hair, and features a crease indicating that it can be opened.
> OPEN EVEN SMALLER FIGURE
Popping open the figure reveals a second, a minute figure. It is painted to look like a poor Russian farm boy who has been kicked in the nuts by an angry mule and features a crease indicating that it can be opened.
> OPEN MINUTE FIGURE
Popping open the figure reveals... a second, microscopic figure. It is painted to look like an angry mule which might be inclined to kick poor Russian farm boys square in the scrotum. Like the others, it can be opened.
> DAMN YOU RUSSIA!!!!
I don't understand that.
> OPEN MICROSCOPIC FIGURE
Popping open the figure reveals a small ball of fluff.
> EXAMINE FLUFF
It's small, ball-like, and can only accurately be described as "a fluff". It appears to have come from some sort of furniture - most likely the kind that has some sort of cushioning.
> EXAMINE COUCH
You can't believe they make couches that ugly. What color is that anyway? It's like brown mauve mixed with periwinkle orange. There is a buttocks shaped imprint of a very large buttocks that presumably spent a considerable amount of time there. Next to the couch is a small end table.
Holding the fluff in your hand, you search the couch very carefully and discover a small finger sized hole on the left side of the couch, back beneath the buttocks shaped imprint. There is something in the hole.
> EXAMINE HOLE
Inside you find a tiny key.
> TAKE KEY
Taken.
> UNLOCK TRAP DROOR
The tiny key is far too tiny, but the act does make Hello Kitty's head seem disproportionately large... well, more so than usual anyway.
> UNLOCK DRAWER
Unlocked.
> EXAMINE DRAWER
It is closed, but unlocked. It's a good thing you examined the drawer before opening it, just in case it was booby trapped or something. It wasn't and you pretty much wasted your time, but hey, consider this a "secret" description. Go tell all your friends how you were lame enough to examine something you just unlocked rather than immediately opening it and you can all laugh about how this game openly mocked you and your stupidity. And you will never feel the warm caress of a woman again... or more likely, in the first place.
> OPEN DRAWER
Inside you find a small key.
> TAKE SMALL KEY
Taken.
> EXAMINE SMALL KEY
It is a small key, completely unlike the tiny key. This key is merely small, not tiny. But that's nothing. Wait until you see the itsy-bitsy key. That one is just gonna floor you.
> UNLOCK TRAP DOOR
(with the small key)
You insert the small key into the tiny hole posing as Hello Kitty's mouth and turn it until you hear a satisfying click. With that, the padlock is unlocked and falls away from the trap door.
> OPEN TRAP DOOR
You open the trap door to reveal a set of stairs leading down into creepy darkness that is quite creepy.
You have earned 2 points out of a possible 10.
> GO DOWN
Dark Room
You are in a very dark room. Be careful, or you might be eaten by a grue.
>
